Genesis

Chapter 1

In the beginning, God created Plymouth rock. And Jamestown.
And God said, “Let there be light” and there was Westinghouse.
And God saw the light, and it was good.
And God said, “Let there be a firmament in the midst of the
Waters”, and He created US Steel.
And God said, Let the land bring forth profits, and there was
B & O Railroad, and American Tobacco, and Western Union, and Standard Oil.
And God said, “Let there be lightweights in the capital to divide
The people and their wallets” and he created the Presidency and the Congress.
And God saw everything that he had made, and told everybody
That it was very good.

Chapter 2

Thus the heavens and the earth were finished, and all the host of them.
And the Lord God formed Woodrow Wilson and caused him to be elected
From the dust of the nation. And He gave him dominion over all the land
And all the citizens.
And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “of every effort thou art
Free to tax, but thou mayest take only what thou needest, thou mayest
Not create a central bank thereupon to take and keep and withhold from
The people, for if thou creates a central bank thou shalt certainly die.”

Chapter 3

Now the banker was more subtle than any beast of the field which the
Lord God has made. And he said unto Congress, “Yea, hath God said
Ye shall not create a central bank?” And Congress said, “We may tax any
Fruit of the garden, but God said we may not partake of a central bank.”
And the banker said, “Look ye, woman. See how the economy goes in waves
And in circles. See how the hard times follow the good times, see how
The citizens suffer joblessness and hunger, in cycles. Know you that risk
Can be mitigated? Did He tell you that you can take compassion on your
People, help them out, and buy their votes in the next election? Did
He tell you that you can have higher highs, whiter whites, and new and improved
nigh unto eternity? Perhaps He wants to keep all the fun and glory to
Himself? Have you ever thought about keeping a little reserve?”

Chapter 4

And Congress took a bite of the apple, and handed it to Wilson, and he also
Took a bite, and they found that it was sweet and juicy, and they wanted more.
And so they created the Federal Reserve. And henceforth,, when there were good times,
The tax receipts were plentiful. And when there were bad times, the Federal Reserve created more paper money and created money to be borrowed, and the losses were postponed, and the
Tax receipts were STILL bountiful.
And they created insurance companies and the FDIC and the SEC and Fannie
Mae and Freddie Mac and Social Security and Medicare and Medicaid and nuclear deterrents and all manner of protection against all manners of losses, any loss that anybody could think of or imagine.

Chapter 5

And one day it came to the attention of the man in the street that one loss, one little possible loss, had not been insured, contracted, mitigated, indemnified, incorporated, or otherwise protected against, and that was the loss of everything-all-at-the-same-time. The whole nine yards, the kit-and-kaboodle, the cat’s meow. And other people began to read and to hear and to understand and to fear, against this one little item. And a fifteen minute call to Geico went unanswered. And all of the preachers and the Pharisees and the Sadducees arose and penned opinion pieces for the local newspapers that such a thing could never come to pass and y’all need to quit worrying about it and go back to cheering for American Idol and the Pittsburg Steelers. But real estate prices fell and people lost their jobs and had their homes foreclosed upon and the dark clouds continued to build over Noah’s town and the people became more and more fearful…


{snip}

Chapter 7

…
He sent forth a dove from him, to see if the waters were abated. But the dove found no rest for her foot, and she returned to him. And it came to pass in the six hundredth and first year, that the waters were dried up from the earth. And God said, look okay, I did it again. But still I have not destroyed everything. I give you another chance. But please, this time, stay away from snakes and bankers!