Bulletin: Washington, D.C.
Interroristigators revealed today that, contrary to public opinion, the FBI under Eric Holder has not repeat not instituted a new "fast and furious" policy to distribute the handguns (pictured below) for all upstanding, patridiotic americans desiring to do their duty to the nearest muslim (or wife, child, or postal worker) that they can find.
too bad ....
NOW! FOR A LIMITED TIME!
These marvelous machines are being made available to the public, in limited quantity for only a certain amount of time. Much in demand, these ingenious little devices will provide hours and hours of entertainment while they afford you a sense of usefulness and service to mankind unlike anything else you are currently doing with your life. Merely hold one of these in your hand, and you will find yourself helplessly attracted to the challenge of turning this little crank and watching the wooden slides go back and forth in their track, back and forth, back and forth, back and forth.... this is exactly what government workers, in positions of high authority, do all day! And now, you can do it too!
Yes, its true. The dedica5ted craftsmen at John's Wood are making just a few of these carefully-created, maple and black walnut devices available to the public. Moreover, you pay nothing to buy one, all you have to do is to cover a small job application fee to make sure that you can qualify to own and operate one.
Act now! Call right away and we will rush you your application form. Operators are standing by!
